i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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