You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
And my parents said I crawled through the house
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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