Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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