Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
