If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I think my vagina is haunted
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
