It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
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