so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
