This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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