We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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