Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
