before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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