Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
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