I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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