You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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