playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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