Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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