Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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