I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
