I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
