So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
This toilet bowl is my home.
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