But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
