i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
