Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
