Well apparently he's into motor boating.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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