I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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