Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
