They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
