i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
