My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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