She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
