All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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