butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
