What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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