She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Randomize
