yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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