The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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