Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Randomize
