this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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