so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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