I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Randomize
