Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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