I wish my penis had an off switch
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
