oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
You were trust falling into bushes
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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