so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
