fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
