Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
