watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
