New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
