her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
