2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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