guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
